Excerpt from my travel book

The idea with this, is that each chapter will start with a description of someone that I have sat next to while traveling, be that a plane, train, etc..I have a habit of writing about people I sit next to. This habit has probably been since I was 16, so I have a lot of these descriptions. As you can see I haven't finished all descriptions yet, but left little notes for myself so that I could remember that person and write about them later.

Lady with mysterious book who smelled of alcohol
Stats:
Older lady, fake blonde/grey hair, skinny, short white shorts
From D.C. to Jacksonville, Florida
To my right in seat 26 F
July 28, 2006

She dove into her book like you would dive into the pool. Complete with out loud commentaries such as “Oh my Goodness,” “No, she didn’t!” along with “Don’t go in there,” followed by bursts of laughter. To anyone else it would seem she was reading a thriller or a murder mystery but then those outbursts of simple and sincere laughs kept you off track. I can understand bursts of laughter if you are watching “The Office” on your i-pod as you ride the metro; even I am guilty of that. It wasn’t even that long of a flight, how an author could fit that much stuff in an hour or two is beyond me. The average adult reader reads 200 words a minute which translates to 12,000 words an hour so for a two hour flight that would mean she read roughly 24,000 words that kept her entertained. My hats off to the author. I kept trying to read the title, any glimpse would do, because any book that could have a woman in an enclosed space sharing commentary about a book with everyone on a plane had to peak my interest, if not a little. I kept trying to read the title, but she would guard it as if it was secret spy information that would lead to a revolution and overthrow the Bush administration (but then again, wouldn’t we want that information public).

Now I could have said “Oh that sounds like a good book, what are you reading?” But then I have a rule to speak only when spoken to on airplanes. For instance, these are the few words I spoke on that plane. “Ginger ale.” “Thank you.” “Correct.” “Yes, Please.” And that is it. Four phrases/words. This isn’t my record. My record is two words on a long flight and it wasn’t even two different words. It was one word twice! “Ginger ale.” Why is it that the only place I drink Ginger ale is on the airplane?

Back to lady with mysterious book who smelled of alcohol. She ordered a white wine and paid the gay steward (insert description here) and tipped him. She downed it in five seconds. Then called gay steward back and again same thing. By this time she was tipping the guy quite a lot so of course he kept coming back. A pattern had started. He was being positively reinforced. I kept thinking maybe I should quit my day job and start a career as a stewardess following lady with mysterious book that smelled of alcohol all around on her travels.

Normal
30 something, male,
From Seattle to London
To my right in seat #13G

The guy sat next to me and didn’t say one word, kept to himself. Read his book, watched the movie, didn’t smell, turned the light off, pulled the “shade” on the window at the appropriate time, and listened to his i-pod. Maybe he was my soul mate?


No “R” boy
12 year old, male, glasses
From London to Prague
Sitting directly behind me in 26 E

Cried because he wasn’t allowed to sit in the middle before he had even sat down. I knew it was going to be a long flight…

Big Fat Greek Guy
Middle-aged, fabulous pin striped shirt
From London to Dublin
To my left in 26D

Psychiatrist Needed
80 year old woman, wealthy, single, perfectly white hair is was almost iridescent
From Seattle to D.C. via Chicago
To my right two seats over in 16C

Love affair…what makes someone talk to me? I have headphones on whether they are turned on or not is beside the point. I also have my nose in a book. People need to learn some social manners.

Pentecostal Fest
“Praise the Lord Jesus” when entering the elevator.
I’m under dressed..the bishop was there in gold and purple wardrobe with 7 Georgian women primping him and themselves…their hats…amazing hats….I wanted to pluck the feathers right off of one of them and use it to dust my house.