Kansas
There was this eerie green color outside this evening, and I don’t quite know how to describe it to you. It’s as if a picture was processed but received no red processing. It is about 11:25pm, and on the bottom of my TV screen is a message that keeps sliding across, that states "tornado warning", and the rain is falling harder than I have ever seen in my life (and I’m from Seattle). Thus, I am in the basement typing this...Welcome to Kansas.
Here are some things about Kansas that I find fascinating if not odd.
First things First, Kansas is in the Mid-west NOT above Tennessee as previously thought.
Now I’ve been around the world, but into the deep mid-west I had never ventured. This was new. There were fireflies. I had only ever read about fireflies in one of my favorite books called Sam and the Firefly, where the firefly was causing all sorts of ruckus by spelling out “FREE” above the hotdog stand, which would then drive the hotdog stand owner to get upset and chase him, which I often thought was funny because then he left all those people there to just steal the hotdogs because no one was manning the stand. But I digress. I’ve seen fireflies in movies but never up close. Their butts light up. Why? It’s called bioluminescence. What if we walked around with this peculiar glow coming from our butts at dusk? People behind us would be able to see where they were going. No need for flashlights or batteries. We could save ourselves a lot of bruises in the night. But more importantly what if our butts lit up when we were attracted to someone we like. That is why they light up you know. Wouldn’t that kind of be embarrassing? What if we were already married and our butts never lit up for our spouse? I guess you could tell who the gold diggers were if it was innate. The truth is fireflies are useful in fighting cancer. True story. Fireflies are also extremely energy efficient. They give off 100% light contrast that to a light bulb which only gives off 10%, the other 90% is wasted on heat. I was in Kansas for 4th of July, one of the few states left that allow you to light off your own fireworks. So as I was enjoying the fireworks on my street, I looked up and saw the fireflies. The fireflies were competing with the fireworks for the attention. And it has to be said the fireflies won.
The second thing not many know about Kansas is that it is home to the world’s largest ball of twine. Where is the biggest ball of twine in the world, you ask? You can find it in Cawker City, Kansas right on highway 24. I drove 4 hours out of my way to see this amazing structure. How would one come to hear about it? I happen to have this thing for maps that would let the reader know of all these strange things in the world, one week after I came across the largest ball of twine, I was offered a job in Manhattan, Kansas. I accepted the job just for a chance to catch a glimpse of this oddity. So en route to Manhattan I just stopped on by and visited the world’s largest ball of twine. I mean wouldn’t you? Frank Stoeber started his ball in 1953 in his barn, as a challenge and rival to Francis Johnson’s ball of twine in Darwin, MN. However, when Frank died just one foot shy of surpassing his rival, the citizens of Cawker united and soon they had ownership of the largest ball of twine. It is located in an open-air gazebo and passer bys can add their own twine, and you can bet I did! Every August the city has a twine-a-thon. The sign reads simply “THRIFT + PATIENCE=SUCCESS.” If only that statement would apply in my life. This ball of twine weighs in at 7,827, 737 feet of sisal twine and weighs a mere 17,980 pounds. The circumference is 40 feet which roughly estimates about 1, 444 miles of twine. That is like going from the most western point of France to the very heal of Italy. Just imagine if you will a little road trip in a Dacia or Datsun, what have you, traveling across the countries unrolling a huge ball of twine. Fieldtrip anyone?
Kansas is also home to the center of the U.S. continental divide. It took some time but I found it with my great navigating skills, with my atlas in my right hand and the compass in my left, and the steering wheel somewhere in between. I ended up on a road that was dusty and rocky in my 1997 Honda Civic and I realized this wasn’t right. So after trekking back 20 minutes and looking at the map again, I found myself what seemed heading in the right direction. And then there out of nowhere was a flag, and a little tiny white church. It was a little inspiring and I will admit I got weepy as I looked from all perspectives at this great vast country I live in. From sea to shining sea and then some in between.
Manhattan is KRAZY for their Kansas State Wildcats and it is the most beautiful campus I have seen, prettier than Oxford or Georgetown! They have themed it like a castle so the stadium is like a castle and we get to play on the stadium floor with the Astroturf! Now I never liked Kansas, Kansas State, or really any of those states that have fanatical fans. I think it is wrong. Nebraska, Oklahoma, I could keep going. In Manhattan, there was a purple house. Purple. I mean really. I like the University of Washington but I refuse to paint my house purple and gold. I will don a sweat-shirt on game day, sure, but you won’t find this girl’s house, car, or otherwise lit up with my alma mater’s colors. It is just wrong.
Two words. Dodge City. Wyatt Earp. Horse and buggies. Barbecue and steak. Enough said.
So now I will sign off but realize that the tornado warning is still on and that
I could die tonight! But hey wouldn't that be a cool way to die!
